Faith, Love, Reflection

Thoughts & Reflection on the Seasons of Love

It’s been a while since I had time to really sit down and enjoy an evening on my own, just spending time doing the things I enjoy and reflecting on life.

I love family time and I enjoy nights out with my girlfriends, but being an introvert, I know I can only truly recharge when I spend time on my own.

So when Wayne told me he has a gathering to go to, I decided to let Grandpa and Grandma pick up Laurent (much to their delight) so he can check out his new car which just arrived at grandpa’s house.

I went home right after work, showered and had a quick dinner while watching a brush lettering video. I really cherish this hard to come by moments of tranquility so I prayed that God will bless this evening to be a fruitful and enjoyable one. I settled down at my cozy work space with my supplies and started writing out part of E. E. Cummings’ poem which came to mind. Pastor Rick Warren’s Daily Hope podcast was playing in the background and I was listening to the series about Fighting for an Awesome Marriage.

Pastor Rick and his wife, Kate, talked about the importance of a strong marriage, about making conscious efforts to fall in love and stay in love, about compatibility, about differences, about fights, about sacrifices and about not taking one another for granted.

True Love is Not A Feeling but A Decision

It got me thinking about how our relationship has evolved over the years. From dating to married life and now, parenthood. From studying in the same school but different faculty, to working in the same company but different department, and now working closely together. From travelling a distance to one and others’ homes, to staying together and now spending almost 24/7 next to each other.

With closer proximity and more time together, you would probably think that we are emotionally closer than ever, right? I thought so too.

But when I started to take a close look at our relationship, I can’t help but notice that the closer we are, the less connected we have become. There was even a period where we only had the time and desire to talk about work and child and were not making effort to share intimately about our thoughts and emotions.

There are many components to a great and lasting relationship. And we both know that besides God’s gracious blessings, one very important component is having fruitful and thoughtful conversations about the relationship.

When we were dating and in the earlier part of our marriage, one of our favorite activities is to spend hours sitting at the bay of Esplanade, talking and sharing at lengths about our feelings, thoughts, hopes and aspirations. Very often we would chat all the way to the wee mornings and still felt like we have a ton of things to talk about. Both of us enjoyed such conversations which helped us to learn more about each other and how we can be better partners in our relationship.

But recently, most of our time and energy were spent on Laurent, our work, upkeeping the house, pursuing our own hobbies and trying to catch a breather or zone out in our own ways.

Pastor Rick talked about the different seasons of love and marriage. I feel like we are currently in the season of spring; busy and always doing something, with little time to truly invest in and enjoy our relationship as a couple.

And due to the lack of intimate conversations where we would readily open up our vulnerabilities and weaknesses to one another, we started to build up a wall and became less willing to express love openly. We started to do away with the hugs in the morning, the kisses before leaving the house, the I-love-yous before we sleep and the surprises that we used to give each other for no reasons.

I Carry Your Heart With Me

When the podcast ended and I lifted my brush from my artwork, I suddenly felt like the house was too quiet and I missed Wayne a lot. I realized it has been a long time since we took a good look at each other and truly savor the words that we say to each other.

When he came home, I gave him the artwork, told him I missed him and we both shared a smile while looking into each other’s eyes. We spent some time talking, laughing and I actually told him I realized how good looking he is (and we both laughed again). It was late so we didn’t really have a proper conversation but said our I-love-yous before going to bed.

I felt like we’ve both just watered the flowerbed of our relationship again and I want us to continue doing so. To continue to water it, prune it, weed it and grow it. To work hard in guarding and protecting it in difficult times, so that we can enjoy it in good times.

Love is not just a feeling, but a decision to take action. When we choose to love, we choose to listen, to understand, to care, to sacrifice, to pray for one another and to take the time and effort to make the relationship work. This is a reminder not just for you who is reading this, but for myself too, because I always forget.

Have you taken the time to take a peek at your flowerbed recently? Does it need some watering, pruning or planting? Let’s take little steps to make it bloom beautifully again. Maybe a night out without the kids just to have some fruitful conversation, a day out at your favorite dating spot to relive those magical moments, or even a short weekend trip to relax and just enjoy each other’s company. Sometimes, a little kiss, a tight hug and an I-love-you is all you need, to let your flowerbed spring back to life again.


  1. Kendall

    August 7, 2016 at 7:41 pm

    This is awesome! I know Hun and I have hit some snags, as we too, are in a busy season with littles being littles! Sometimes it’s really hard, but we keep making an effort. And, I find, the more effort we try to put in the better off we are together.

    In fact, recently, I told Hun that “waiting until our time comes” is a Bad thing and that I don’t want us to do that because that often lends to a split later because couples become too disconnected and have grown differently – apart. 🙂


      August 8, 2016 at 9:40 am

      Hi Kendall, I totally agree with you! A lot of people have the mentality of waiting till the kids get older or until we are less busy to start working on their relationships. But that would mean another 5, 10, 20 years and by then, even the desire to connect with each other may have died off. Taking little steps everyday makes the difference!

  2. Adeline

    August 8, 2016 at 1:42 pm

    Aww this is soooo sweet and it brought goosebumps as i read. Thanks for sharing the podcast and I’ll check it out in a jiff. I totally agree that relationships have to be maintained no matter how busy life can be and that we have to consciously find time to upkeep that. Sometimes, the hard part is to also to walk together but with God being the center of our lives.


      August 18, 2016 at 11:17 am

      Thank you Adeline 🙂 Be sure to check out the podcast – Daily Hope by Pastor Rick Warren. I’ve been listening to it as much as I can recently and I feel like I’ve gained so much from it.

  3. Michelle

    August 8, 2016 at 5:26 pm

    Thanks for the reminder, Dawn. It doesn’t take very much to tell our partners that we still treasure them and rekindle that sweet, romantic feelings but we tend to push it off till ‘later’. I’m going to surprise my husband tonight 🙂


      August 18, 2016 at 11:17 am

      That’s awesome Michelle! I believe with 2 kids, another one coming soon and being an amazing mumpreneur, it can take quite a bit of conscious effort to maintain a great relationship with the husband!

  4. Shub

    August 9, 2016 at 12:39 pm

    So true…Sometimes, in a busy and stressful routine, we don’t really get time..We have to make time though to ensure that love always remains evergreen.


      August 18, 2016 at 11:20 am

      Yes, we definitely need to put in some conscious effort to keep our relationship blossoming!

  5. SengkangBabies

    August 9, 2016 at 1:24 pm

    Always trying to score another date-night with the Mrs.
    I am always craving for me time with my darling too.
    Need not be elaborate, just a simple movie, hi-tea or even grocery run at NTUC will do haha.

    cheers, Andy


      August 18, 2016 at 11:21 am

      I agree! Any time spent doing things that you guys enjoy is time spent investing in your relationship 🙂 My hubby loves a supermarket trip too!

  6. Pooja Kawatra Gupta

    August 9, 2016 at 1:45 pm

    Such a beautiful reminder for us to treasure those lovely moments together. We all are so busy in our lives that we tend to forget the little precious moments of togetherness, to just hold hand and walk together.


      August 18, 2016 at 11:22 am

      Yes indeed, and when we look back, cliche as it may sound, it is often the simple and little moments that truly matters.

  7. Lingling

    August 9, 2016 at 1:56 pm

    Lovely post, yes couple time is so vital to keep the relationship going. Hub and I set aside the very much needed 3hrs couple time every week (without the kids) just to be a listening ear n to share our hearts out.


      August 18, 2016 at 11:23 am

      That’s a really great way to keep investing in your relationship!

  8. Debs G

    August 10, 2016 at 12:02 pm

    Thank you for this – it is such a great reminder that we mustn’t neglect couple time. It’s so easy to take the hubby for granted.


      August 18, 2016 at 11:25 am

      Yes, I know, it is so easy to forget all the positive things you see in your partner when life gets busy and stressful. But that is actually when we need to learn to appreciate each other more for hanging on and moving forward together!

  9. Susan Koh

    October 28, 2016 at 1:17 am

    So true about being intentional in our marriage Dawn and I do agree about the different season of love in our life. Keep watering it and may your love with hubby keep blooming and blooming as you speak life and love to each other.

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