I didn’t have the chance to share about my reflection for the past year and goals for the new year in January as a lot was going on at home then. Now that things have pretty much settled down and I had ample time to think through and gain clarity on my life, I’m ready to share about the year I spent trying to figure out my life purpose.

In 2016, my mantra for the year was to Pursue Passion, Not Perfection. I spent a year doing just that – pursuing the creative life that I have been so attracted to. As I was reviewing the year that had past, I felt so thankful because I saw myself growing, learning, enjoying and having so much new opportunities in the creative aspect. I was almost certain that I should keep pursuing the creative lifestyle and make a living out of it. Working from home, sitting at my inspiring work space, bossa nova playing in the background and I’m just creating – writing, lettering, illustrating, styling, and taking photos. That will be a total dream come true for me! I was ready to go forth and try to make that happen.

But when I sat down to think about what I want to achieve in the year 2017, I sensed God nudging me to slow down. I couldn’t see very clearly then what He had in mind or why He was asking me to slow down when it seems to me that the stars are all aligned for me to pursue the ideal lifestyle that I had in mind. Intuitively, the word “Purpose” came to mind and I decided to make it my word of the year for 2017.

A lot of things had happened in between. Most prominently, losing 3 very dear ladies in my life within a year – my grandmother, Ellie and my mum.

They say welcoming a new born into your life changes you. For me, I think it was losing someone dear that truly changed me.

It had been a difficult period of growth and awakening for us, which we thankfully made it through with God’s grace and the love from everyone around us. As we took time to grief and make sense of our losses, I read, prayed and introspected a lot. I learned more about myself – not just what I want in life, but what God has put within me. I began to see how my personality, interests, strengths, gifts, weaknesses and experiences are all uniquely designed by my Creator.

And one day, I had an epiphany and I felt like I FINALLY understood what I’ve been trying to figure out this whole time. It was like a switch got flipped on and now I could really see.

When I looked at the lives of my grandma, Ellie and my mum, I could see how different their lives had been. My grandma lived to a ripe old age of 90s, my mum was 65 when she passed on and Ellie had barely spent a day in this world. Yet they all left a mark on this earth and impacted the people around them in their own unique ways.

I began to understand that it is not how long we spend on this earth, how much wealth we accumulate, how popular we are or how successful (in the world’s standard) we become that matters. Our purpose in life may manifest in different forms, but I’ve come to realise that in whatever we pursue, we just want to make the world a little better than before. A little more hopeful, a little more inspired, a little more beauty, a little more spark, a little more joyful, a little more comfortable, a little more sustainable, a little more positive.

It doesn’t matter how long we have on this earth because every little moment we are trying to make the world a little better in our own unique ways, with our own unique gifts as we live our own unique stories.

I used to have such a hard time realizing what my life purpose is because I was looking for something big, powerful and impactful. I had difficulty finding meaning in my work because I didn’t think my work aligned with my “purpose”. I sometimes feel disconnected from my family or find housework a real chore because I didn’t think they were part of my “purpose”. I sometimes stumble people with my words or actions because I didn’t think about how I will affect them, I only thought about how I could find and fulfil my “purpose”.

But when I finally understood my purpose in life, I realized that purpose doesn’t have to be a lofty career goal, a powerful cause or making an earth-shattering change. My purpose in life is small, quiet and simple – it is to leave this world having made it a better place than when I first came, one interaction at a time, one day at a time.

I’m not saying that I can be a total saint now that I understand my purpose. There will be times when I forget and stumble and leave an interaction or situation a little less positive then it had been. But now that I realise it is the little moments that matters, I become more mindful and intentional in my decisions and interactions.

I try to bring positivity, comfort and encouragement to my environment and interactions. I now find meaning in whatever I do because I can easily see how I can make the world a little better and it helps me find joy, and even excitement, in activities that I used to see as mundane, such as my work and household chores.

I try to build a more positive and supportive culture in my workplace because I know when our people feel positive, we transfer that positive energy to customers too. I try to show appreciation and understanding when interacting with my colleagues because I know when they feel loved and appreciated, they will have more love in their emotional bank to share with their family and friends. I formulate HR policies with the intention to help our staff grow and find meaning in their work because I know that we spend the majority of our life working, and I want them to feel that they are leading a meaningful life. I try to be more present and connect better with my loved ones because I know being there for them (listening, giving them encouragement or just a hug) can help to make their day a little better. I go about my chores with (more) fervor because I no longer see them as taking time away from my purpose, but completing them allows me to make our living environment better, and in turn, our mood and our rest better too. These are just some examples of how I realise that every little decision and every little moment can be purposeful in their own ways.

Maybe purpose is too big a word and carry too idealistic a meaning that many of us find it so hard to understand what our “purpose” in life is. If you are having the same issues in identifying your “purpose”, take a look at all the goals that you have set in your life and the work that you are doing. Maybe you’ll realise that you too, have been trying to make the world a little better in your own unique ways, and you will realise how meaningful your work and life can be.