It’s the 7th day since the passing of Mr LKY, the day of his funeral.

Since the day PM Lee broke the much dreaded news officially, the nation has been expressing our grieve for Mr Lee’s passing and gratitude for all that he has done for the nation in our own little ways.

Overwhelmed by an unexpected degree of sorrow that very morning, I penned a short and simple tribute via instagram. It’s nothing compared to the multitude of eloquently written tributes, poems and personal anecdotes all over the media, but those were the heartfelt words from a young Singaporean who is fortunate enough to have grown up in the safe, secure and beautiful garden city built by Mr Lee and our forefathers.

We spent much of the next few days watching documentaries and tributes of Mr Lee on TV, engaging in conversations about him with family, friends and other fellow Singaporeans. We immersed ourselves in the details of his political and private lives and gained greater insights on the way he has dedicated his entire life to building Singapore into what we are today.

We watched his life story flashed past our eyes in the matter of minutes. Photos and footages of him as a little boy, an elder brother to his siblings, a charming and scholarly young man during his days in Cambridge, a loving and dedicated husband to Mrs Lee, a compassionate countryman who shed his tears for a nation with an uncertain future, a fervent and charismatic leader who rallied the people to come together for the nation. In his later years, a man whose words and speeches encapsulate great wisdom and inspiration to those who took the time to listen and a grandfather figure to the people, whose presence is always assuring, even when he seemed frail and aged during the last NDP.

Like many others, we kept a close tab on the queue situation at the Parliament House and resolved to pay our last respect to him. We wanted to bring Laurent along but upon hearing that the queue was expected to be 6-8 hours long, even for priority queue, we made childcare arrangements for him with my parents and joined the queue at Padang on Thursday night. It was warm, the air was stifling, the people queuing were packed shoulder to shoulder, but I’ve never seen Singaporeans so united and cohesive before. Spontaneous acts of kindness like passing along food and water, shining torch lights for the people in front when it was too dark under the tents and simply not complaining about the situation proved how thoughtful and compassionate we can be.

Sadly, we left the queue after 3 hours. But as we left, we saw more people arriving at City Hall MRT station to join the queue, and it was close to 1am in the morning.

Since that night, I felt a burden in my heart, that I’ve not managed to express my respect and gratitude to Mr Lee personally. But seeing that the crowd has not let up despite the increasing waiting time, we made arrangements to bring Laurent to one of the tribute sites instead.

At 6pm yesterday, after our house-warming earlier that afternoon, I saw an update on Facebook about the queue situation and that the priority queue could be as short as 2 hours. But we had to get to the queue by 8pm, before the cut-off time.

It was our last chance.

We rushed out of the house in minutes and got to Marina Square’s carpark at 720pm. I’ve never walked so fast while carrying Laurent in my arms (which I couldn’t quite feel by the time we reached our destination). And we made it to the queue at 745pm, panting, sweating and feeling extremely thankful that we managed to grab this one last opportunity to express our gratitude to Mr Lee personally.

Just as we reached the queue, a small crowd had gathered right next to it, with flash lights all around. PM Lee was speaking to the reporters. He later came to the queue and shook our hands to thank us for coming. And the crowd sent our regards, expressed condolences and a group of people were shouting, “PM Lee, Jia You”.

 I could not imagine what it was like for him. To be going through such a personal event, but having to handle it not just as a son, but as a PM. He was wearing a smile of gratitude when he shook our hands, but when I saw him up close, even though it was just a few seconds, he was evidently tired. I could only imagine how physically and emotionally draining it must have been, but PM Lee has been strong.

 It was a warm evening and all of us were sweating in the sweltering heat, including Laurent. He sometimes get cranky and fussy when he is too warm, but that night, he seemed to sense the solemnity of the occasion. He was mostly quiet and contemplative in his pram even though his forehead was covered in sweat.

The queuing process was made a lot more pleasant by the selflessness of all the volunteers handing out drinks, food, cards for fanning, collecting rubbish (and very importantly for the priority queue, soiled diapers) and watching out for the kids and elderly.

We reached the security check point at the Parliament House around 915pm and managed to pay our final respect to Mr Lee shortly after that.

It’s difficult to express the tremendous amount of respect, gratitude and loss in that single bow. But then again, I believe nothing can.

That night, I felt a sense of relieve and gratitude to have been able to finally pay our respect to Mr Lee as a family, with Laurent in tow. Many wonder why parents would want to bring little children and babies to do that when most of them may be too young to understand the meaning behind it all. Some may have brought their children because they were unable to make alternative childcare arrangements. But many, myself included, wants them to be part of this significant moment in our nation’s history. 10 years later, when Laurent is in Primary school and the TV is showing tributes of Mr Lee to commemorate his 10th year death anniversary, I would show Laurent the photos of him in the queue and share with him how the nation came together to mourn the loss of this great man, a man who was like a father, a grandfather and great-grandfather to the people of Singapore.

This morning, as Mr Lee’s cortège left Parliament House for UCC, the sky broke and poured heavily, as if reflecting the sombre mood of the nation. Everyone who was there for the procession were drenched, both from the rain and the tears streaming down their faces. I too, while listening to the eulogies, cried silently in front of the TV.

While we mourn the loss, we also celebrate the achievements that Mr Lee had accomplished throughout his 91 well-lived, meaningful and fulfilling years. His legacy continues to live on and he will continue to be a role model and inspiration for every Singaporean.

Thank you and Goodbye, Mr Lee.