I’ll be blogging about Laurent’s birthday party when I receive the photos from Natsuki. But for now, I just want to commemorate the first year of my motherhood journey 🙂

With every passing month, I have been lamenting on how fast Laurent is growing up. While every day he seemed quite about the same as he was the day before, a look back at his first photo and we quickly realised how much he has changed.

The little boy was born 2.5kg (full-term, 40 weeks, mind you) and I almost forgot how tiny he was until I saw a photo of Wayne holding him in his arms. His head was even smaller than his palm!

The first night that we spent with Laurent in the hospital was so surreal. It’s like meeting someone for the first time after knowing him for 10 months and immediately falling in love. And you want to do nothing but hold him in your arms and just stare and him, nuzzle your nose against his tiny face, plant little kisses and heave little sighs of contentment and thanks giving.

Then the rosiness of having a baby started to get overwhelmed by the inconveniences of confinement. The first month was all about building milk supply, keeping warm (right smack in the middle of July), jamu massage (and pungent herbal wrap ewww), limited showers, ginger in every dishes, waking up up every 2 hours, and the likes.

After the first month, we became more hands on in caring for Laurent as the confinement nanny prepared to leave. We were initially filled with a lot of uncertainty. We were not sure whether we were ready to care for him on our own as neither of our parents were staying with us. I remember one of my friends even commented that she’s not sure how are we going to cope when the confinement nanny leaves.

Soon, we were officially on our own. And by God’s grace and guidance, we quickly got the hang of changing, bathing, soothing, feeding and understanding him. We survived, he survived, and while it may seem like a long way off for new parents, it all becomes easier because you will get better and more confident at it.

Then we followed him through his milestones. From failing arms and whimpering cries to tummy time, flipping over, crawling and now wobbling around the house with his walker wagon while exclaiming in loud, indecipherable words. We’ve definitely come a long way.

New mummies out there, I really can’t say this enough and you’ve probably heard it a million times, take every chance you have to hold your baby a little longer, nurse him more often, watch him while he sleeps and don’t let these precious little moments pass you by. Their little hands will grow so fast, they will soon be wrapped around everything else but your finger, and their cute little feet will soon be covered in shoes when they start walking and running around.

I’m glad I have this blog to turn to when I wish to reminisce about some of our special moments with Laurent. And turning one is such a special and precious milestone, I want to leave a little note for my 1 year old baby.

Dear Laurent baby,

Happy first birthday 🙂

I am so thankful to have you in our lives and for having spent this one year knowing you, understanding you, being with you and loving you.

You have taught me so much about myself and about life. But the most amazing thing you’ve taught me, is about how much our little hearts can grow.

When I was younger, I can’t quite imagine how my little heart can fit and love someone else unconditionally. Then I married your papa, and my heart grew a little bigger, to fit him in. And I thought surely it can’t grow any bigger because I can’t imagine having to share my love for him with someone else.

Then you came along, and my heart grew bigger still. I realised I was not just sharing my love for papa with you, but you filled my heart with more love. Your every smile, every giggle, every twinkle in your eyes just keeps pumping love into my heart.

Unconditional love. Undying love. Inexplicable love.

Thank you for being that loud, fun, expressive, dramatic, curious and witty little boy that you are. Thank you for filling our days with laughter, surprises, sparks of brilliance, sleepless nights and tired sighs.

Thank you for being you, thank you for being our precious child.

As we continue our journey together, I pray that God will continue to bless papa and I with the strength, wisdom and patience that we need to guide you and care for you.

While I hold dear to the precious memories we shared for the past one year, I am looking forward to our future adventures together 🙂

For now, mama is just going to hold you a little longer until you wriggle out of my embrace and nuzzle my nose against your little face until you protest with your squeaks and squeals.

With tons of love that fills my heart to the brim,

Mama